A Somewhat Saterical Look at 2016

Hillary Clinton. Yes, I’m enormously pleased for the former secretary of state. Were she any sort of honest mortal being who hadn’t exploited her position of public trust to make herself one of the few well-heeled people in the country, she would, in all likelihood be our next president. Had she not been so schizoid that she readily and shamelessly obstructed our nation’s transparency laws, she would, in all likelihood be our next president. Had she not been so haughty in her pending “victory” and campaigned in Wisconsin once, or Michigan more, she would, in all likelihood, be our next president. I’m thankful she wasted time campaigning in Arizona. Had Hillary campaigned like she wanted the position and not like she was predestined for it and had it already in hand, she would, in all likelihood be our next president. She did not and will not be our next President, and for that I and America's basket full of deplorables are forever thankful. 

The media, the fourth estate. Thank you, journalists, for being yourselves. From your bogus “fact checking” to important think-pieces on how the GOP may collapse, you could not have helped more if you were on the payroll. After years of working to keep your agenda-driven bias hidden behind a tinny veneer of credibility, you put a match to the whole damn thing. What a delight it was to watch your faces on election night as reality set in and the tears began to flow. It couldn’t have happened to more deserving group of liberal lapdogs. The thin air inside your elitist New York and Washington bubble led you to think calling half the country racist for eight years and telegraphing your elation over the expectation of calling them sexist for the next eight was a well-thought out plan. On top of all that, I am eternally thankful for your disinclination (or incompetence) to learn from any of this. Please, double down on your arrogance. Continue to talk about anyone who lives in a state that doesn’t have a coastline. And if you happen to find yourself enduring a layover in an airport somewhere between NYC and LA, start calling everyone uneducated and poor. Please, continue making someone like myself happy.

Curses, particularly in sports. Hey, my whole blogging life isn’t politics. I’m a Cubs fan. Do you not think the Cubs  and Indians World Series was amazing? The best part about the World Series this year was no matter which team won, it wasn’t going to be a repeat. The curse of the Billy goat is no more. The best part about sports curses is the emotional investment fans put in them. It’s never that their team was beaten, it was that celestial dynamisms prevented them from victory. There’s something fun about seeing long-suffering Cub fans finally have something to celebrate, especially when they’ve beaten a curse. "Go Cubs Go." There is, of course, much more for which to be thankful this year, but candidly isn’t the fact that Democrats were subdued at the ballot box enough for one year? Even the media’s implosion would have been enough for one year. 

Let 2016 be remembered as the year Bill and Hillary Clinton were sent packing, many in the media were unmasked and were caught with their pants down. Cubs are World Champions. If that isn’t enough to be thankful for, you’re probably a democrat or a member of the left leaning media with your pants down or an Indians fan.